i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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