The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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