I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
