u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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