yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
