I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
