Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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