I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
