FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
