i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
