i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
