I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So apparently I’m into choking now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
