nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
