it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
