I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I got chris browned last night
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
