Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
