who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
