I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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