biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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