I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
