If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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