1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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