we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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