I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
