better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
