Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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