and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
