you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
