Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
