guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
