I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
