is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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