i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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