You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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