One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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