she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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