he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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