I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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