Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
