we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
