I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
