at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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