I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
