bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
God I need to hump something, right now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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