did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
