I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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