Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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