dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
