Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
