I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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