He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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